


Infinity War Fix

by aworldofmyimagination



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, Gen, infinity war fix-it, when they could be living in wakanda playing cards against humanity?, why have the rogue avengers randomly wandering around the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-04-28 17:46:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14454531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aworldofmyimagination/pseuds/aworldofmyimagination
Summary: “Do I know you? I feel like I know you,” Peter said, glancing between the man and Tony.The man bowed, slightly. “Loki Odinson. You might recognize me from a small attack on New York a while back.”“A small attack?” Tony scoffed. “Hundreds of people died, you-”Tony nearly fired off his repulsor, but the other man on the ground stumbled to his feet.“Wait, Tony, he’s cool now. Still pretty crazy, but he’s fine, we’re cool.”“Bruce? Where have you been?”“Space,” Bruce said. “On a weird trash planet for a while, then Thor showed up and needed help saving Asgard, but Thor and Loki blew it up to kill their evil sister. Loki and a bunch of gladiator aliens brought a ship before Asgard blew up, though, and I’ve been on it with a few thousand Asgardians for the last few months. Until Thanos showed up. I’m pretty sure the Asgardians got away and the tesseract is-” Bruce glanced at Loki.“Out of Thanos’ reach, for now. He’ll be headed here next - he knows the mind stone is on Earth. You'll need all the help you can get."





	1. Chapter 1

**S P A C E**

 

Loki’s hands were trembling as he held the portal open. The Space Stone was burning icy-hot, even in its cube, and he tried to take a count of how many Asgardians were still on the ship.

 

“You’re sure Vanaheim won’t mind?” Valkyrie raised an eyebrow at Loki.

 

He started to shrug, but the portal flickered and several Asgardians screamed, so he just said, “We can only hope. Have you seen Thor?”

 

“He and Heimdall are still trying to hail the ship. Bruce said something about a distress signal, but I’m not sure if he’s warning other ships off or asking for help.”

 

Loki frowned at that. “Warning off, I hope. We don’t need anyone else caught up in this mess.”

 

“Says the one who brought that stupid rock onto a ship full of refugees in the first place,” Valkyrie said.

 

Loki winced, then changed the subject. “Any stragglers? Korg isn’t trying to build a people’s army against Thanos, is he?”

 

“He tried. But I convinced him that he needed to rebuild a broken society and support the survivors, so he was one of the first to go through the portal. Once this set is through, it’s just you, me, and the bridge crew.”

 

There were only a couple hundred Asgardians still waiting to go through the portal - which was good, because Loki wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold it.

 

“We don’t have much time left," Loki said. "Get the others, and-”

 

Heimdall appeared, pushing through the small crowd still left. “He’s here.”

 

Loki swore under his breath, then shouted, “Let’s keep moving, people, let’s go.”

 

Valkyrie started to grab her sword, but Loki shook his head. “You need to go with them. The stone will need all the protection it can get. Destroy it, if you can.”

 

“You can’t destroy an Infinity Stone without the power of another,” Heimdall said. "Even then, I don't know if it's possible."

 

“Keep it hidden, then. Can you wield it?”

 

Heimdall looked at Loki for a moment, then nodded. “Not for long.”

 

The last of the Asgardians slipped through the portal. Loki passed Heimdall the stone, careful to keep the portal open through the transfer. His hands were blistering, but he ignored the pain.

 

“You’re sure you don’t want me to stay? We could put up a hell of a last stand,” Valkyrie said.

 

A massive crash came from the bridge and Hulk roared.

 

“Save your last stand for another day. Go, now, and keep the stone safe.”

 

Valkyrie gave Loki one last look, then stepped through the portal.

 

“My prince,” Heimdall said. “Give him hell.”

 

As soon as Heimdall stepped through the portal, it closed without a trace. Loki wanted to collapse on the floor and stay there for a few days - but his brother was on the bridge with Thanos.

 

Loki looked out at the bridge from behind a massive pile of metal - Hulk must have pulled it off the ship. It was already close to space-cold on the bridge and Loki wasn’t sure how much longer the shields would keep space from sucking them all through the hole in the ship. Bruce was lying, unconscious, just a few feet away from Loki’s hiding spot and Thor was on his hands and knees in front of Thanos, blood dribbling from the side of his mouth.

 

Loki wanted to check on Thor - he had never known Thor to stay down in front of an enemy if he had any other choice - but the mind stone was still on Earth and the humans had no idea Thanos was coming. Loki reached out to grab Bruce’s ankle, found a small tear in the fabric of the universe he could use to travel, and hauled Bruce and himself through it.


	2. Chapter 2

**N E W  Y O R K**

 

“Thanks for picking me up, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, embarrassed. He was still in his Spider-Man outfit, except for his mask, and was standing in an empty parking lot near the former Avengers Tower.

 

“No, see, I should be thanking you, because you’re about to tell me how you went through ten years worth of webbing in five weeks-”

 

“It’s been, like, two years Mr. Stark.”

 

“Same difference. Fess up. Come on, kid, I need to know.”

 

“No, I don’t think you do,” Peter said.

 

“Trust me, it can’t be worse than the ideas I’m coming up with.”

 

Peter hesitated, then mumbled, “Nedwantedmetomakeagiantspiderwebball.”

 

“I’m sorry? I didn’t catch that, did you just say giant spider balls? Because that is significantly more horrifying than anything I came up with and I wish I hadn't asked.”

 

“Ned wanted me to make a giant spider _web_ ball,” Peter said, louder. “And I maybe got a little carried away and it was as tall as the warehouse we were in. Trust me, don’t wait around for that much webbing to dissolve, because the floor had two inches of stickiness that we spent five hours trying to clean up.”

 

“And you used up most of the webbing and ran out in the middle of your spontaneous trip out of Queens and Aunt May is out of town and you can't get on the subway because you don't have your wallet.”

 

“Yeah, basically,” Peter said.

 

“We’ve got to teach you how to drive, kid. Come on, get in.”

 

“What, now?” Peter squeaked.

 

“No time like the present. The lot’s closed off today, so the only thing you can hit is a fence or a squirrel.”

 

“But I don’t want to hit a squirrel, Mr. Stark.” Peter reluctantly slipped into the driver’s seat. Peter saw Tony’s Iron Man suit build up around the man and gave him a betrayed glance.

 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Tony began, then paused. “Actually, yeah. Not with a car. Sorry, kid. That’s why we’re practicing, though.”

 

Peter latched his seatbelt and carefully pressed on the gas. The engine revved and he would have jumped out of his seat if he hadn’t been strapped in.

 

“You’ve gotta take it out of park, kid.”

 

“Right, right. Um…”

 

Tony pointed to the lever and Peter switched it to drive. The car started rolling forward. Peter slammed down on the brakes and the car jerked to a stop.

 

“Um, I have driven before, Mr. Stark. With May in parking lots. But when I was fifteen I borrowed this car from a kid at school and kind of wrecked it and so May kind of decided I could just take the subway for now.”

 

“You know, I’m starting to agree with Aunt May. Let’s just do one loop around the lot, see if you’ve gotten any better with age. Not too fast, not too fast, Peter-”

 

The car was only going twenty miles an hour but Mr. Stark was pretty old and sounded nervous, so Peter went for the brakes. Two people appeared in front of them, one practically holding the other up. Peter slammed down on the brakes even harder and barely tapped the pair, but they fell to the ground.

 

“I thought you said there were only squirrels, Mr. Stark!”

 

Tony didn’t answer - he was already stepping out of the car, his repulsors charging up. Peter scrambled to follow him, pulling his mask back on.

 

“Stay back, kid,” Tony said. “They appeared out of thin air, we don’t know what other powers they might have.”

 

The man who had been holding the other up stood, carefully, while the other man just groaned on the ground. He raised his hands, which were blistered and red, slowly. “We come in peace?”

 

“Reindeer Games,” Tony said darkly.

 

“Do I know you? I feel like I know you,” Peter said, glancing between the man and Tony.

 

The man bowed, slightly. “Loki Odinson. You might recognize me from a small attack on New York a while back.”

 

“A small attack?” Tony scoffed. “Hundreds of people died, you-”

 

Tony nearly fired off his repulsor, but the other man on the ground stumbled to his feet.

 

“Wait, Tony, he’s cool now. Still pretty crazy, but he’s fine, we’re cool.”

 

“Bruce? Where have you been?”

 

“Space,” Bruce said. “On a weird trash planet for a while, then Thor showed up and needed help saving Asgard, but Thor and Loki blew it up to kill their evil sister. Loki and a bunch of gladiator aliens brought a ship before Asgard blew up, though, and I’ve been on it with a few thousand Asgardians for the last few months. Until Thanos showed up. I’m pretty sure the Asgardians got away and the Tesseract is-” Bruce glanced at Loki.

 

“Out of Thanos’ reach, for now. He’ll be headed here next - he knows the Mind Stone is on Earth. You’ll need all the help you can get. He’s the one who sent me here before - the Chitauri army was his, before you blew it up. His goal is to kill half of all life in the universe and if he gets all the stones it will only take him a second. Prepare your defenses the best you can and destroy the Mind Stone if you find a way.” Loki started to turn.

 

“Woah woah woah, where do you think you’re going?” Tony asked. “You can’t just drop something like that and leave. You got us into this.”

 

“To be fair, the Tesseract was on Earth long before I brought the Mind Stone.”

 

“Thor said your dad put the Tesseract here!”

 

Loki paused. “Yes, but your people are the ones who started using it and made Thanos notice it.”

 

“Let’s just call it a tie,” Bruce suggested. “Loki, there’s no point in you going back. The only person left on the ship was Thor and I doubt Thanos left him alive. I'm sorry, but we need you here.”

 

“Um, objection?” Tony cut in. “We don’t _need_ him, he would just be useful.”

 

“I can’t leave him, not if there’s the slightest chance he’s alive. None of you have experienced torture at the hands of Thanos. I won’t leave my brother to suffer the same fate.”

 

Loki disappeared, leaving Tony, Bruce, and Peter standing in a circle.

 

“So, um, aliens?” Peter said weakly.


	3. Chapter 3

**X A N D A R**

 

“Okay, so I think the charges are a little unfair and bail was set way too high. I don’t know why you morons paid it when I could’ve just broken out in a few days.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“No, we wouldn’t have used the bail money to buy you your own ship, Groot,” Gamora said. “You’re not old enough to fly.”

 

“I dunno, I think a ship would be pretty cool for Groot,” Peter said. “Yondu gave me the Milano when I was ten and Groot’s probably about that age in tree years.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“We’re not leaving the planet. Rocket’s trial is in three days.”

 

“You’d think saving the universe would give you a get out of jail free card for the rest of your life, but nooooo, apparently they’ll still arrest me for stealing a measly 15,000 units.”

 

“From the nephew of the _Kronan delegate_. Even Nova Prime can’t ignore that,” Gamora said.

 

“Unless…” Rocket began thoughtfully. “Unless there was another galaxy-ending event before the trial and we just happened to save the universe again. Then I wouldn’t even have to show up to the trial and I bet they’d pay us even more than you idiots paid in bail. And that stupid Kronan kid would give me, personally, that 15,000 back if I save his life.”

 

Several massive ships crashed down just outside the city. Rocket laughed and ran off towards the Kronan Embassy.

 

“Where are you going?” Peter called after him. “We need to go deal with that!”

 

“I’m about to go save that brat’s life for money!” Rocket called back.

 

Gamora was frozen, staring at the ships.

 

“Peter, it’s Thanos. He’s here. For the stone,” she said.

 

“Great. That’s just great. This is all Rocket’s fault, you know.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“No, you can’t go terrorize children with Rocket. We have to-”

 

Gamora took off sprinting towards the building where the Power Stone was kept.

 

“I guess it’s just you and me now, buddy.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“I’m _fun_. Why do you think I’m not fun? I’m the one who started our music during fights thing.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“Ouch. Okay, we’re going to have a long talk about being nice to people later, but now I guess we’ve got to fight off Gamora’s crazy ex-dad. Any idea where Drax and Mantis went?”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“The candy shop again? I should’ve known. Alright, let’s scoot.”

 

People were screaming in the streets on the way to the candy shop. When they got there, it was abandoned except for Drax and Mantis.

 

“Quill!” Drax called through a full mouth. “These candies bear a remarkable resemblance to the Power Stone and when I eat them, I feel powerful.”

 

“Did you not notice everyone screaming?”

 

Mantis cocked her head. “I thought that was perhaps normal behavior. I have not been to this planet before.”

 

“People do scream a lot at ridiculous things,” Drax agreed. “Last week, a space centipede crawled out of the drain when Quill was cleaning his teeth and he screamed when he saw it and screamed when I killed it for him.”

 

“You left the body in the sink! Gamora always washes them down the sink instead of killing them so I don’t have to see their disgusting blood.”

 

“So we have a colony of space centipedes living in the ship’s water supply which we drink from?”

 

Peter made a mental note to invest in a new, space centipede-proof water tank.

 

“I am Groot!”

 

“Thanos is here? Where?”

 

Drax was out the door before Peter could answer. Peter, Groot, and Mantis followed him, Mantis with a handful of the Power Stone candies still in her hand.

 

“Let’s just hold up for a minute and think this through,” Peter said, jogging to keep up with Drax’s long strides. “You can’t face Thanos on your own, Drax, we need a plan.”

 

“You’ve got one.”

 

Denarian Dey was standing behind them with Gamora, who was holding the Orb with the Power Stone.

 

“Thanos can’t get this stone, no matter the cost,” Dey said.

 

“We can’t just leave,” Peter protested.

 

“Yes, we can,” Rocket shouted, running towards them. “Half the delegates are dead and Thanos is talking to the half who are left. We need to get off this planet.”

 

“We’re evacuating all the children we can,” Dey said. “The rest of Xandar is going to fight. There’s nothing more we can do now, but if he gets all the Infinity Stones, no planet will even have a chance to fight. He’ll only have to snap his fingers to kill half the universe.”

 

“It won’t take him long to realize the stone isn’t here,” Gamora said grimly. No one spoke for a moment.

 

Mantis crunched her candy loudly. “Sorry. I did not realize there was suddenly going to be silence.”

 

“Mantis, the candy!” Peter said. “We can put the candy in the Orb and put it back in the vault. He won’t know it’s not the stone until he tries to put it in his glove thing - it’ll buy us a few more minutes, at least.”

 

“It’s worth a shot,” Dey said. “But we’ll need to hurry.”

 

“I will stay and hold Thanos off,” Drax said.

 

“No,” Gamora said. “Drax, listen to me. If Thanos sees you here he’ll know the rest of us were here and he won’t stop until he hunts us down. We need to keep the stone safe. The time for vengeance will come.”

 

Drax hesitated, but finally nodded. “Then we must go.”


	4. Chapter 4

**T I T A N**

 

Loki had been to Titan before, but he didn’t remember much. At first, he had been too weak from months spent falling in the Void. He had spent even longer in a cell with too-frequent visits from the Children of Thanos. When he had finally agreed to get the Tesseract for Thanos, he had been relocated to a floating hunk of rock for a few weeks while the Chitauri had prepared. Still, it didn’t take him as long as he had expected to find the cell where Thor was being held. The planet was nearly abandoned - Thanos must have been off decimating another population. Loki wasn’t sure how long he would be gone.

 

Thor wasn’t even chained and the lock was pathetically easy - at least for someone of Loki’s talents. Loki wondered why the security was so lax, but when he got closer he knew; Thor couldn’t have walked out on his own even if he had been conscious.

 

“Come on, brother, time to go,” Loki said quietly, crouching down in front of Thor and shaking him slightly.

 

“Loki?” Thor mumbled. “No, you need...you need to _go_ , Loki, you can’t...you don’t know what he can do, you….”

 

“Trust me, I know,” Loki said dryly. “We’re leaving.”

 

“There’s another prisoner,” Thor said, only slightly more coherently. “You need to save her too.”

 

Loki wanted to reply that he didn’t care about another prisoner, but he knew Thor wouldn’t leave without her. “You’d better be standing by the time I’m back.”

 

There were several empty cells between Thor and the other prisoner. When Loki opened the cell door, he almost closed it again.

 

“Wait,” the woman rasped. Half her parts were missing or broken.

 

“Nebula,” Loki said flatly. “Did Thanos’ good will finally run out?”

 

“Doesn’t it always?”

 

“Where’s your sister?”

 

“Traveling the galaxy with a bunch of idiots - her new _family_ , she calls them." Loki could hear Nebula's eye-roll in her voice. "They kept an Infinity Stone away from Thanos.”

 

Loki considered his options for a moment, then started the process of getting her in working order. “We’re going to steal a ship and you’re going to take me to your sister. Earth needs our help keeping another Infinity Stone safe.”

 

Loki pushed the last part back into place, then set to work shutting down the beam holding Nebula in place. The moment it shut off, the lights in the prison turned red and a blaring alarm sounded.

 

Loki grinned grimly. “Looks like we’re going to have a bit of fun today after all.”


	5. Chapter 5

**N E W  A V E N G E R S  F A C I L I T Y**

 

“Honey, we’re home!” Tony called. “The kid’s going to crash here for the weekend since Aunt May’s out of town.”

 

Pepper appeared from the kitchen and smiled at Peter.

 

“Hi Mrs. Stark! Or, um, Ms. Potts? Mrs. Potts?”

 

“I’m getting us a puppy named Chip, now,” Tony said. “It’s decided.”

 

“We’re not getting a puppy named Chip.”

 

“You’re right, you’re right. That’s a much better nickname for a kid.”

 

“You’re having a kid?” Peter gasped. His voice squeaked and he coughed.

 

“Not at the moment,” Pepper said. She reached out to hug Peter. “It’s good to see you again, Peter. And you can just call me Pepper.”

 

“Thanks, um, Mrs. Pepper. And thanks for letting me stay here for the weekend and for not telling May.”

 

“We’re not telling May?” Pepper mouthed to Tony when Peter wasn’t looking.

 

Tony just shrugged innocently. “So on another note, Loki dropped off Bruce from space - he’s still napping in the car - and aliens are coming to attack Earth and would it be too awful of me to go on the news and tell everyone I told them so?”

 

“Are you serious?” Pepper stared at Tony.

 

“You’re right, that’s a bit much. I’m going to call Ross instead.”

 

“You don’t need to keep gloating to him when he was fired over a year ago,” Pepper said. “And call the United Nations first! I’m going to call Rhodey and if I get off the phone and you’re still bothering him, Tony, I swear…”

 

Tony and Pepper both wandered off in opposite directions to make their calls. Peter started towards the fridge to see if there was any cookie dough - aliens were stressful and only cookies could make life better. 

 

“Um, so what is this place again?” Bruce appeared in the doorway. “And where’s everyone else?”

 

“The New Avengers Facility, but everyone calls it the compound,” Peter said. “Colonel Rhodes and Vision live here most of the time and sometimes Mr. Barton and this crazy dude who can turn into a tiny dude or giant dude come by, but not very often. Everyone else is living in this country called Wakanda since they’re all, like, international war criminals.”

 

“I’ve never heard of Wakanda. And you’re telling me  _ Steve Rogers _ is an international war criminal?”

 

“It’s this awesome country in Africa that just started talking to the rest of the world. I’m pen pals with Shuri, the princess, and I’m going to go visit at some point. And technically, yeah, he is. It’s complicated.”

 

“Huh,” Bruce said. He sounded really confused, so Peter grabbed his bags for him and started towards the bedrooms.

 

“This compound is really cool, at least. Movie nights are the best - Mr. Stark has this massive screen and if we watch Harry Potter he’ll start complaining about these crazy wizard guys he knows.”

 

“Wizards,” Bruce mouthed to himself.

 

-

 

Tony was on the phone with the United Nations for an hour before he finally came back to the kitchen.

 

“Rhodey and Vision are going to be here soon,” Pepper said. “And I called Laura, but she said Clint and Scott are golfing, apparently? I texted them both, so we should hear back from them once they turn their phones back on. Stephen Strange isn’t coming right now, he said we had to go to him if we wanted to talk so the Sanctum stays protected. I followed up with Wong and he said he can’t come either because he, Stephen, and Christine are watching some sports game from another dimension and to try them again in a few hours.”

 

“Great,” Tony said, distracted. “The UN wants me to call Cap. They said they would consider a full pardon in exchange for help on this.”

 

“Do you still have that phone Steve sent you?” Pepper asked.

 

“Yep.”

 

“So...you’re going to call him?” Bruce asked after a long pause.

 

"Yep."

 

"Soon?" Peter added.

 

"Yep."

 

"Tony." Pepper gave him a look.

 

Tony made a face. “Fine, I will, but I want it noted that I really, really don’t want to. Make a note of that, Friday, will you?”

 

“Noted, Boss.”

 

Tony hesitated a moment longer, then took the phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.


	6. Chapter 6

**W A K A N D A**

 

“Please, brother, tell me you had no other options.”

 

T’Challa furrowed his brow. “How do you know which card is mine? My poker face is impeccable.”

 

“Eh,” Natasha said and leaned back against the couch. “It could use work. I mean, you’re not as bad as Steve, but-”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve called from the hallway. He entered the living room, still toweling off his hair. “Also, we need to partner up again on border patrol, Nat. I had to draw portraits of six kids during my shift today.”

 

“You  _ had _ to?” Sam raised an eyebrow. “You had absolutely no other choice, did you, Steve?”

 

"Perhaps you should reconsider your assignment," T'Challa suggested. "My mother shows every visitor to the palace the royal family portrait you did. She has had several requests to pass on your information."

 

"Steve Rogers, Wakanda's Royal Artist," Natasha grinned. "Sounds a bit more grown up than 'Captain America' if you ask me."

 

T'Challa thought for a moment, then smirked. "Captain Amerikanda? It has a certain artistic ring to it."

 

“As much as I love giving Steve a hard time, we need to get back on track,” Bucky cut in. “I’ve gotta know what this card is now.”

 

“Sergeant Barnes is right - do not sidetrack me from addressing this atrocity. Brother, your poker face means nothing when you are the only one so bad at this game,” Shuri said. “It’s embarrassing, brother, you are embarrassing me.”

 

“I embarrass you?” T’Challa stared at Shuri. “I cannot believe you know what all these cards mean and after you made me look up the first one, I am too apprehensive about putting down any strange words.”

 

Shuri threw the black card and T’Challa’s white card down on the table. “Captain America stole my...a really cool hat. You’ve never worn a really cool hat in your life, brother.”

 

“I’ve worn hats!” T’Challa said at the same time Steve piped up, “I’ve never stolen a hat!”

 

Shuri’s eyes lit up. “I think we should let Captain Rogers choose the winning card.”

 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Wanda said carefully. “And if he is going to choose, I need to swap out my card.”

 

“No swapping,” Bucky declared. “Hand them over, Princess.”

 

“What game is this?” Steve asked, taking the cards. He started reading them and frowned at first, then his face turned red. “I haven’t even met 72 virgins. And why would I steal someone’s lumberjack fantasies?”

 

Steve was still staring at the cards when his phone rang.

 

“I think we broke him,” Shuri whispered.

 

“You should’ve let me swap out my card,” Wanda said. “The poor man.”

 

The phone stopped ringing and Steve was still looking at the cards.

 

“How can I choose which one wins when I don’t even know what half of these mean?” Steve asked.

 

“Urban dictionary,” Bucky said.

 

“Steve, maybe that’s not-” Wanda began, but Steve had already taken his phone from his pocket.

 

“Wait, Tony called,” Steve said.

 

“After two years? The world must be ending,” Sam said. Everyone shushed him.

 

“You’re going to jinx us!” Shuri cried. “Can we just go five years between world-ending events? Please?”

 

Steve was already holding his phone up to his ear, but he was still looking at the cards.

 

“Tony? Really quick, do you know what via-”

 

Wanda dived for the phone. “Do not listen to anything Steve says, we are playing Cards Against Humanity and no one knew he was going to be the judge until we had already chosen our cards.”

 

There was a pause on the other end. “Wait, you're playing, like, full-on Cards Against Humanity with Cap? Did you break him yet? Clint tried to get him to play Dirty Minds a few years ago and he turned red three plays in and disappeared for the rest of the night. Which was shocking, really, because I definitely thought he would win that game.”

 

“Well, we were playing without him but he showed up in the middle. It’s all Bucky’s fault, really, because he wouldn’t let me swap my card.”

 

“You can’t swap out your card in Cards Against Humanity because you're belatedly embarrassed,” Tony said. “That goes against the entire philosophy of the game.”

 

“See?” Bucky said. “Someone appreciates this game.”

 

“I appreciate this game!” Shuri said. “You never played it before you came here!”

 

“As much fun as this conversation is, I didn’t call just to chat. Is everyone there? Because we’ve got a bit of a situation.” Someone shouted something on Tony’s end of the line. Tony’s response back to the person shouting was muffled, then he came back on the phone. “Also tell Princess Shuri her pen pal says hello.”

 

“Is that Pe-I mean, Spider-Man? Give me the phone, I need to tell him all the parts he got wrong in his paper he turned in last week and also talk to him about this dog I saw yesterday,” Shuri stood and scrambled for the phone. Wanda tossed it to Bucky, who held it up out of Shuri’s reach.

 

“Bring the phone down here, Sergeant Barnes, you are too tall,” Shuri said, trying to get to it.

 

“He knows where we are?” Sam whispered to Natasha.

 

“Of course he knows,” Natasha whispered back. “He’s Tony Stark.”

 

“Do you think I’ll fail the paper?” Peter was shouting to Shuri from Tony’s end.

 

“No,” Shuri shouted back, on her tiptoes to get closer to the phone in Bucky’s hand. “It’s not your fault that the technology in your country hasn’t been developed yet. And your teacher is probably too busy at her second job to notice the mistakes. Tell your principal to pay her more money.”

 

“I’m pretty sure the president decides that,” Peter said.

 

“You two are both-” Tony started, then paused. “You know what, let’s just meet. How soon can you be at the compound?”

 

“Give us three hours,” T’Challa said.


	7. Chapter 7

**S P A C E**

 

“Something’s wrong,” Gamora said. “Look back at Xandar - we haven’t even reached the first jump point yet all of Thanos’ ships are leaving.”

 

“Well, he is called the Mad Titan,” Rocket said. “Maybe he decided to show them some mercy for once in his life.”

 

Gamora shook her head. “He believes that killing half the population of every planet is showing them mercy. I’ve never seen him leave before the job is done, and even he can’t kill so many people in such a short amount of time...not without an Infinity Stone. Peter, the stone?”

 

“Triple checked it,” Peter said. He opened the Orb again just to be sure.

 

“Perhaps the Power Stone candy tasted so good that he was filled with a rush of understanding and no longer wishes to kill so many people,” Mantis suggested.

 

“It was exceptionally good candy,” Drax agreed.

 

“Why are we still talking, people?” Rocket asked. “We need to get to the jump point before one of those ships spots us.”

 

“I am Groot!”

 

“ _How_ many ships are behind us?” Rocket turned to look at the screen Groot was pointing to - half a dozen ships were on their tail. “Let’s get to the jump point, _now_.”

 

The ships followed them through the jump point but stayed out of range. Nineteen jumps and three hours later, the ships weren't any closer and easily dodged every blast from the Milano.

 

“It’s pretty inconsiderate of them to follow us like this but not get close enough for me to kill them,” Rocket complained.

 

“They must think we have the stone,” Gamora said. “They aren’t sure - if they were, the whole fleet would have followed - but they won’t risk losing it by shooting us. They’ll wait until we have to stop, then they'll make their move on the planet. We'll need to be ready to fight to keep the Power Stone safe.”

 

“Well, that’s just great,” Rocket said. “Just great. You know, we have to do everything around this galaxy.”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“What?” Gamora shouted. “That idiot has another Infinity Stone? How did we not know this when we brought him the Power Stone?”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

Gamora gritted her teeth. “If I ever meet the Asgardian stupid enough to not go collect their Infinity Stone after the Power Stone explosion, I’ll-”

 

“This is a murder-free zone,” Peter called over his shoulder.

 

“Quill, you threatened to kill a man last week because he touched your new music device,” Drax said.

 

“Well...yeah. Alright, that’s fair. Threaten away, I guess.”

 

Gamora leaned back in her chair and suppressed a scream of frustration.

 

“Guys, we’ve got incoming,” Rocket said as Thanos’ massive ship appeared from the jump point they were headed towards. The other ships turned around and went through the last jump point. Thanos' ship didn’t hang back - it kept charging on a direct course towards the Milano.  Rocket grinned. “Finally, a decent target.”

 

“Don’t even try it, Rocket,” Gamora warned. “His ship is huge - there’s no way we can take it down with the Milano. We have to try to outrun it.”

 

“Outrun it?” Peter glanced back to stare at Gamora.

 

“It’s the only chance we have,” Gamora said. “Get us to the closest jump point as fast as you can.”

 

“He’s blocking the closest jump point and the next one will take twenty minutes to reach, minimum.”

 

Gamora paused for a moment. “Then what are we waiting for?”

 

“A better plan!” Peter said. “Something that might actually work!”

 

“We can’t shoot it, we can’t outrun it,” Rocket said, “so we just sit here and twiddle our thumbs?”

 

“We shall die honorably in defense of the universe,” Drax said.

 

“No one’s dying.” Peter straightened up in his chair. “Not today. I have a plan.”

 

“You’d better have more than twelve percent of a plan, Quill, or so help me-” Rocket began.

 

“It’s a good plan!” Peter protested. “A great Earth hero named Han Solo - although technically, he’s Corellian-”

 

“Corellian?” Gamora frowned. “Thanos tried to destroy a planet called Corellia a long time ago. I think he decided to finish his path of destruction closer to his home planet before going back to it.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Peter turned to stare at Gamora. “Did the planet happen to be in a galaxy far, far away?”

 

“It could have been,” Gamora said. “It was long before I was born. Why are we wasting time on this? Do you have a plan or not?”

 

“I am Groot.”

 

“I agree with the tree - he is stalling,” Drax said.

 

“I’m not stalling!”

 

“What’s the plan then?” Rocket demanded. “Because we’re about two minutes away from that ship being close enough to vaporize us.”

 

Peter grinned.

 

-

 

The Milano was powered down, apart from the communications system, and sitting in a crevice on Thanos’ ship.

 

“This is your plan?” Gamora asked. “I’m not sure if this is genius or idiotic.”

 

“We’re not dead yet, are we? That counts for something.”

 

“‘Not dead yet’ is about the best you can say for this plan,” Rocket said. “How are we going to get out of this?”

 

“Well, Han Solo waited until the ship dumped the trash and blended in with it so he didn’t get caught on the scanners.”

 

“It’s against the Galactic Cleanup Treaty to dump trash in unclaimed space,” Gamora said.

 

“You’re telling me Thanos follows the Galactic Cleanup Treaty?” Peter scoffed. “His goal in life is to destroy half the universe.”

 

“Because he thinks that will make it a better place for those left behind,” Gamora said, exasperated. “Trust me, there’s a reason he’s called the Mad Titan. He follows that treaty and now we’re trapped.”

 

Peter sat back in his chair. “Well, sh-”

 

“We are being hailed,” Mantis said.

 

“By Thanos’ ship?” Gamora asked, unstrapping herself from her seat. ”Don’t answer it, he’ll just-”

 

Mantis had already pressed the button. Gamora winced but gestured for Mantis to swap seats so Gamora was sitting in front of the monitor.

 

“Tell Thanos he-” Gamora began, then stared at the person on the screen.

 

A cheerful man with shorn blond hair and an eyepatch waved at them from the screen. “Hello! You must be Gamora, I hope, or else I’ve contacted the wrong ship and I’ll feel pretty awkward.”

 

“I am Gamora,” she said slowly. “Who are you and where is Thanos?”

 

Something crashed to the ground on Thor’s end, then two figures fighting over a massive gun appeared in the background.

 

Thor ignored the pair behind him. “I’m Thor, Prince of Asgard-”

 

“King!” one of the people behind Thor shouted, then ducked a blow from the other.

 

“Right, right, King of Asgard. Still getting used to that one. I’ve been a bit too busy to process it all, what with Asgard blowing up and then Thanos destroying the ship we were all traveling on, but that’s life, I suppose. My brother rescued our new friend Nebula-”

 

“We’re not friends,” Nebula shouted and dived after Loki, who had gotten a hold of the gun.

 

“We actually are friends,” Thor told Gamora. “Anyway, Loki rescued Nebula and me from Titan but then all these crazy alarms went off. We nearly made it off the planet in a flimsy little boat-ship thing but Thanos showed up again and Nebula and Loki decided we could sneak onto this beast of a ship while everyone was looking for us on the planet.”

 

“You’re the only three people on the ship?” Gamora asked.

 

“Yep, and let me tell you, this is not an easy ship to use and my brother has been telling me how terrible I am at flying it the entire trip here. Nebula’s been setting up charges so we can blow it up as soon as we get off.”

 

“You’re going to blow up Thanos’ favorite ship,” Gamora said slowly. “His favorite ship that took fifty years to build and that he has used in the genocide of thousands of planets.”

 

“Pretty much,” Thor said. “Nebula said she missed your birthday.”

 

Gamora grinned. Nebula appeared on the screen holding the huge gun and Loki walked to Thor’s other side, trying to hide the sulk in his step.

 

“So, can we get a ride?” Nebula asked.


	8. Chapter 8

**C A L I F O R N I A**

 

“You know, this really doesn’t make any sense,” Scott said, staring at the purple ball as it rolled out of the center castle gate, down the drawbridge, circled around the moat, then fell into the hole. “My ball hasn’t even come out of there yet.”

 

“What can I say?” Clint swung his club up to rest in his quiver, which didn’t have any arrows in it. “I’ve never missed a shot.”

 

“This is  _ mini golf _ ,” Scott said. “It’s, like, 80% luck.”

 

“That’s what they want you to think.”

 

Clint grabbed his ball and strolled towards the next hole. Scott stared at him for a moment, then jogged to catch up.

 

“What does that mean, dude? Is there some mini golf conspiracy you’ve been hiding from me? I thought we were friends.”

 

“Eh,” Clint shrugged.

 

“This is the thirty-fourth mini golf course we’ve played and you still don’t trust me? That hurts, man. That really hurts.”

 

Clint paused, turned around, and grinned. “You can find out the truth.”

 

“No,” Scott said.

 

“Come on.”

 

“Hope would kill me,” Scott said. “Do you know how long of a lecture I got from her and Hank after the airport thing? I can only use the suit for legitimate life-threatening threats from now on out.”

 

“But imagine seeing the inside of these weird buildings. Don’t you want to know the truth about the mini golf conspiracy? Don’t you want to discover your long-lost golf balls? Save them from rotting away, listening to this terrible top 40 music until they eventually disintegrate into dust?”

 

Scott made a face. “You’re tempting me, man. You really are.”

 

“So is that a yes?”

 

Scott debated with himself for several moments. “No. Sorry, man, but Hope says I have to work on my ‘character development and ‘not giving in to peer pressure’ and ‘thinking things through before I jump right in’ so I’ve got to pass.”

 

“Boring,” Clint said, then reached up to his ear.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Entering the zone,” Clint said. “I’m going to finish this course with a third of the strokes it takes you and I can’t focus with your goody-two-shoes speeches in the background.”

 

Clint switched off his hearing aid and smirked at Scott.

 

Scott smirked back.  _ J-O-K-E-S-O-N-Y-O-U _ , he signed out each letter individually.  _ I-L-E-A-R-N-E-D-E-V-E-R-Y-L-E-T-T-E-R-O-F-T-H-E-A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T-A-N-D-L-I-K-E-S-I-X-W-O-R-D-S _ .

 

Clint raised an eyebrow and started signing so fast that Scott just stared at him. Scott caught what might have been ‘words’ and ‘know’ so he just made his best guess.

 

_ I-K-N-O-W man A-N-D nice A-N-D ant. S-O-I-G-U-E-S-S-I-J-U-S-T-K-N-O-W-T-H-R-E-E-W-O-R-D-S-N-O-T-S-I- _

 

Clint turned his hearing aid back on before Scott could go any further. “That’s just painful to watch. But thanks, man, really. What do you say we cut this game short, call it a tie, and I’ll buy you a Happy Meal? Cassie’s still collecting the toys, right?”

 

“Wait, you’re willing to call it a tie?” Scott stared at Clint. “After you’ve beaten me mercilessly dozens of times? You didn’t even give me a break that time my ball bounced off the windmill, smacked me in the head, and I cried.”

 

Clint patted him on the shoulder. “Then you’d better appreciate this because it will never happen again.”

 

They checked their clubs back in at the desk and walked out through the arcade. Cint’s phone finished turning on first and then immediately froze up as hundreds of missed calls, voicemails, and texts came through at the same time. His phone heated up in his hand and then rebooted, but not before Clint caught a glimpse of the top text from Tony Stark - ALIENS.


	9. Chapter 9

**N E W  A V E N G E R S  F A C I L I T Y**

 

Three and a half hours after Tony had called, the plane from Wakanda still hadn't arrived. Tony, Peter, Bruce, Rhodey, and Vision were sitting at a table, looking at a hologram of the compound. Pepper was in the next room, seeing if any of the intelligence organizations had picked up on anything suspicious. Tony had been tapping his fingers on the table anxiously for the last hour.

 

“Perhaps they encountered a delay,” Vision said.

 

“Great. Fantastic. A delay.” Tony breathed out and clenched his fist so tight that his nails dug into his palm. “What, they stopped to get Starbucks? If they're not going to take this seriously, then I shouldn’t have called them.”

 

“Maybe something happened?” Peter suggested. “Like, an engine malfunctioned and they had to make an emergency landing in the ocean and all their phones stopped working for some reason and...” Peter trailed off and Tony stood from the table so fast his chair nearly fell to the ground. Peter caught it and moved it out of Tony’s way. “Er, sorry. I’m sure that’s not what happened, Mr. Stark. Shuri designed it, there’s no way it broke. Maybe...maybe they did stop for Starbucks. Or, um...yeah.”

 

“Hey, don’t freak out, man,” Rhodey said. “I’m sure they’ll be here soon.”

 

Tony stood in front of the table for a moment, using it to steady himself, then spun on his foot and took fast steps towards the medicine cabinet in the kitchen.

 

“Cap is so lucky I just refilled my Xanax,” Tony said under his breath. He started to cut one of the pills in half, but stopped, stared at it, and swallowed the whole pill. He stood in the kitchen for a moment longer before he returned to the table. “Okay. You know what? We can handle this ourselves. We’re the dream team. Hulk can rip off Thanos’ arm, probably-”

 

“He tried,” Bruce said. “Thanos beat him up.”

 

Tony looked at the ceiling for a moment, took a breath, and started again. “Alright. Plan B. Peter, I’m going to build you a backpack with extra webbing built in and you’re going to make another one of those giant spider balls-”

 

“Spider _web_ balls-ball, one ball,” Peter clarified when Rhodey shot him a look. “It was one time.”

 

“-and then Thanos won’t be able to get any of the stones because he’ll just be stuck and roll around and...we’re all going to die, aren’t we?”

 

“Probably,” Peter said - then saw the look on Tony’s face and winced. “I mean, no, of course not. We can handle this. Thanos is salty because his planet died or whatever, right? He took a hard L there, rip Titan, but just because he thinks his planet died from overpopulation doesn’t mean that was actually, literally the only reason. Has he ever taken an economics course? Maybe we can introduce him to my friend, MJ. She’s hel-hecka woke. Or one of us can learn how to be a wizard and just yeet him into space.”

 

Bruce looked between Peter and the other people at the table. “How many years was I gone again?”

 

“Just roll with it,” Rhodey told him. “I don’t understand half the things that come out of his mouth but it’s even worse if you try to get him to explain what he means.”

 

“Use English,” Tony told Peter.

 

“I’ll try, Mr. Stark. Hey, do you guys remember that really old movie, Back to the Future? What if we-”

 

“Stop calling movies old in front of the old people,” someone called from the doorway. Shuri strolled towards the table. “It makes them feel old.”

 

Peter grinned at the sight of Shuri, then he paused. “I guess you’ve got a point. But - wait, were you guys even  _alive_ when those movies came out? They’re, like, ancient.”

 

Tony, Bruce, and Rhodey winced.

 

“Er, I mean, um…” Peter floundered.

 

Shuri pulled up a chair next to Peter. “You’ve dug yourself in too deep. Just let it go.”

 

“Sorry, who are you?” Bruce asked.

 

“Shuri. I’m here early because everyone else went to go get Starbucks.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Tony stared at her. “The literal fate of the universe is in the balance here. Why the-”

 

“Actually, that’s my fault,” someone else said from the doorway.

 

“Why is everyone just showing up and interrupting?” Bruce leaned over to whisper to Rhodey.

 

The person took a step forward.

 

Tony stared. “Wait, wait, wait. I’m sorry, what?”

 

“Sorry about the deception,” Coulson said. “I’ve been doing some underground work that required me to be off the grid.”

 

“Please don’t tell me you spent six years watching Supernanny reruns,” Tony said. Coulson shifted slightly and Tony’s eyes lit up. “Wait, is that what you did? Please tell me what you did.”

 

“That information is classified.”

 

“Your secret is safe with me,” Tony said. “And everyone else in this room. And FRIDAY.”

 

Coulson ignored him. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”


End file.
